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Understanding Relationships: Wholeness Day at Woodberry
Leslie Morgan Steiner — a Harvard graduate, published author, and survivor — stood in front of the student body in Bowman Gray Auditorium and told her story: She had once been in love with a man who slowly and methodically turned her world into one of fear. For close to an hour, she shared the highs and lows of a relationship that turned into a nightmare. And how she pulled herself out of that darkness to ultimately lead a successful and purposeful life.
“I thought Leslie Morgan Steiner’s piece about how there is really no way to predict who will become a victim was interesting,” said Danny VanCleaf ’25. “It doesn't matter who you are. You could be a Harvard grad and still be subject to manipulation.”
“I loved Leslie’s speech and thought it was a great example of bravery and survival,” said Stewart Pouring ’25.
Steiner’s speech was only the beginning. The rest of the day continued the conversation through film, workshops, and student-led discussions, all centered on the complexities of relationships. The main event for the upper formers was The Last Drop, a short film produced by the One Love Foundation, focusing on the warning signs of unhealthy relationships. The underformers watched Behind The Post, a film the school has used before, also produced by the One Love Foundation.
“The themes we wanted to express through these videos were that relationships can be incredibly complex, and some of those complexities can be signs of an unhealthy relationship,” said health teacher Gracie Wessinger, who organized Wholeness Day. “We were hoping that if boys could see some of these signs in their own lives, they would be able to address them before the relationships became abusive.”
The feedback from Behind the Post was generally positive. “The boys felt like it shed some light on some of the issues they are currently facing and gave them great conversation starters about the question of who's at ‘fault’ in a potentially abusive or unhealthy relationship,” Wessinger said.
For some upper formers, The Last Drop was eye-opening.
“It seems that every failed relationship wants to find ‘fault’ with one person or the other, but it is usually much more complex than that,” said Wessinger.
The film weren’t the only focus of the day. In breakout workshops, students tackled different aspects of relationships: how to recognize unhealthy behaviors, how to build better communication, and even how to defend oneself if a situation ever became physical. There were many other workshops that provided the boys with the ability to choose what they found relevant to their own lives.
“My afternoon workshop with Mrs. Mills was both exciting and important,” said Pouring. “We learned self-defense and how to keep others safe.”
Other workshops examined masculinity and the pressures placed on young men.
“I attended the Manosphere seminar,” said VanCleaf. “I appreciated the point that was made that ‘conquest’ was not the way to grow or ‘win.’ Instead, compassion, empathy, and connection were.”
For Wessinger, student leadership was an essential part of the day. The discussions were led by juniors and seniors who had taken online training courses to prepare.
“Our goals were to help students recognize the ten signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships, successfully manage both romantic and platonic relationships, and develop the necessary skills to serve as upstanders in our collective communities,” she said. “The videos accomplished the first goal the most.”
For many students, the impact of the day was unique to each individual.
“The impact seemed to really vary depending on each boy,” said Wessinger. “I heard some boys talk about Leslie Morgan Steiner being the best part of the day as there was something in their life they felt they could relate to. Many of the lower formers really enjoyed the student-led conversations. And the faculty-led workshops were also a huge favorite.”
By the end of the day, it was clear that Wholeness Day didn’t aim to provide easy answers. Instead, it encouraged students to ask harder questions — about themselves, their relationships, and the way they engage with the people around them.
>> Reporting by Lucas Dunlap ’25
>> Reporting by Lucas Dunlap ’25
Woodberry Forest School is an exceptional private school community for high school boys in grades nine through twelve. It is one of the top boarding schools in the United States and one of the only all-boys, all-boarding schools in the country.
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Woodberry Forest admits students of any race, color, sexual orientation, disability, religious belief, and national or ethnic origin to all of the rights, privileges, programs, and activities generally accorded or made available to students at the school. It does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, sexual orientation, disability, religious belief, or national or ethnic origin in the administration of its educational policies, admissions policies, scholarship and loan programs, and athletic or other school-administered programs. The school is authorized under federal law to enroll nonimmigrant students.